Mission Relationship
by livingwater89
Summary: Heero would like to begin a relationship with Duo, except he hasn't a clue how to do this. So he goes and asks Relena for help,who has an interesting secret life


Title: Mission Relationship

Pairings: 1x2, OCxR, 3x4 and more later on

Rating: PG 13 for now

Disclaimer: DON'T OWN! DON'T SUE! ME HAVE NO MONEY! My car ate it. Seriously.

Summary: Basically a Heero-Likes-Duo-But-Duo-Doesn't-Know story with a twist. In this, Relena and Dorothy happen to be yaoi fangirls who begin to make it their life goal to bring the two together. Of course, they want all the dirty little details this 'mission' will provide.

AN: This hasn't been betad, but I'm pretty sure it's readable. I wrote it after an English essay and was pretty tired. Of course I put more effort in this then I did the assignment...

Oh, and I'm working on chapter two of Family Ties, it's just going slow right now…

Chapter One

Heero hadn't bothered knocking as he walked into Relena's office. It wasn't his style. Either she was able to deal with him right away, or he would wait patiently by her desk until whatever meeting she was conducting, paperwork she was finishing, or make-out session she was participating in was finished. It usually didn't take long, depending on her mood, anywhere from a few startled seconds to a whole minute, and the minute long waits were only when she was in her 'PMS bitching mode' as Dorothy had described it to him once. Fortunately for him, she had just finished her latest cycle, and her hormones were pretty much stable…for the most part. Until her boyfriend showed up after not seeing her for a week. Then, Heero, observed, her hormones seemed pretty intent on sucking out his tonsils. Like now.

"Heero," she yelped as he shut the door firmly closed, "What are you doing here?" She quickly scrambled off of Scott's lap, which she had been straddling a couple of seconds ago, and readjusted her not-so-crisp pale blue pant suit. Starting, at first, with buttoning up her gaping white shirt. Scott wasn't in a much better state, but he was just as fast at redressing as Relena was.

"I needed to talk to you," Heero stated calmly, not at all bothered about walking into a heavy groping scene. He had already did a thorough background check, interview, and surveillance on the man before he had let their relationship progress beyond the first kiss, and found the man suitable enough for Relena. He had also made sure the man realized how an incredibly bad idea it would be if he hurt Relena in anyway. Relena had been a little miffed at his use of promises during that talk, but after the first couple of weeks she got over it. After all, it wasn't like he had actually _hurt_ the man…just a bit of bruising around the throat that healed pretty quickly, and he did drive the point in.

"Couldn't you have waited a few minutes or at least notify the secretary?" Scott asked grumpily standing up, "And why the hell hadn't Amy stopped you in the first place and make you wait like every other mortal?"

Heero turned his head slightly to give Scott a light glare, "The secretary understands it's an inefficient waste of energy to try to stop and announce me." Yes, Heero was very pleased at the level of obedience Relena's secretary had. After their first few meetings, Heero had impressed upon the young woman that no, he would not be so kind as to wait in that chair, and no, she needn't bother informing Relena he was visiting since he was more than capable of doing it himself and at a faster and more efficient pace then she. The secretary hadn't bothered him since.

"And what about the security," Scott challenged.

"I trained and supervised them before I resigned my post of Head of Security. They know my face." Heero then turned his gaze back to Relena, ignoring her disgruntled boyfriend. "Relena, I need to talk to you alone about an urgent and classified matter."

Relena gave a sigh, but didn't protest, "Scott, love, how about dinner at that new French place we were talking about?"

Scott smiled at her, "Sure, I'll have Amy book us a reservation. How does nine sound?"

"Absolutely lovely," she said with a smile before kissing him on the lips and walking him to the door. After a mummer of good-byes, she shut the door and fell into her office chair. "Okay Heero, what's the problem this time?"

Heero sat in the chair opposite to hers, back stiff, "I need your help."

"I figured as much, but about what?"

"I need you to help me develop an intimate relationship with Duo Maxwell."

Relena blinked for a moment, "You're gay?" she asked confused.

"I believe so, since Duo is a male, the gender which I also happen to be."

Relena's eyes took on a glint of suppressed excitement as she leaned forward, "You're gay and want to hook up with Duo? Does he know?"

Heero frowned lightly, "To my knowledge, no, yet he has a high ability at hiding his thoughts, however, in this matter I believe he is oblivious."

"And is Duo gay?" Relena asked, excitement quite evident in her voice, which was confusing to Heero. He hadn't expected her to get so riled up so soon over his plea for help. He felt he was missing something.

"Yes he is. He is has openly admitted it and has even gone out on a few dates with men he has met. Granted, none of these relationships proceed romantically after the first two weeks. He breaks it off before it becomes anything serious and asks just to be friends."

Relena leaned back in her chair, "I was already pretty sure Duo was gay, but it's nice of you to confirm it for me. However, I am more than delighted to hear of your sexual orientation and your choice of love interest. You have absolutely no idea how thrilling this all is."

Heero blinked, allowing that to be his only sign of surprise at her reaction. He of course had wanted her blessing and help on this mission, but her current level of glee that she was suppressing was higher than he had expected. "You're going to help me than?" he asked.

"Of course I'm going to help you! Just let me make one quick call and we'll start on the mission plan!" she grabbed the phone and hit one of the speed dial buttons. "Hello? Dorothy? Guess what? Heero's gay!" she squealed into the phone, "I know! But wait, it gets better. He has a crush on, guess who, that's right, Duo! He's right here in front of me, and he wants our help in helping him hook up with Duo. Don't worry, I won't let him leave before you get here. Will you do me a favor and contact the other officers and let them know what is happening? Thank you, you're a doll. Bye." She place the phone down on the receiver.

Heero glared at her, "What was that all about?" he demanded angrily. "Dorothy has not been cleared for this information. Who are these other officers that you are having her notify? If anyone at Preventers would have been able to help me, I would have already have gone to them."

Relena waved a hand at him, "Relax, Heero. I had to tell Dorothy, otherwise she would have killed me, then sic the rest of the girls onto my dead, mutated body."

Heero bristled at this, "If you fear for you life at Dorothy's hands, arrangements can be made to prevent any such attempt at assassination. There is no need to be blackmailed into actions that you do not wish to do."

Relena stared at him for a moment, "I was exaggerating, you ding dong. Dorothy and the others weren't going to literally kill me, just bitch me out if I didn't call. And those officers weren't in reference to any military figure. I was referring to the officers in our club."

"Club?" He asked, intrigued at this new piece of information. How did Relena's club membership get by him or his successor? "Explain," he demanded.

"Heero, there are some absolutely gorgeous men out there who happen to be gay, like you and Duo for example. Well, a portion of the female population finds this rather hot instead of a disappointment. After all, even if you _were_ straight, didn't mean we had a chance with you to begin with. So instead of grudging your gayness, we select group of females embrace it. Over time, we have become obsessed with it. Do you have any idea how incredibly hot and bothered two amazing male bodies rubbing against each other can make a girl? I didn't believe it until Dorothy showed me that video of Quatre and Trowa. I've been hooked ever since."

Heero's face hadn't changed in expression during the whole explanation, and even if he had allowed his emotions to show through instead of automatically hiding them, he wasn't sure what his face would have looked like. Jaw gaping with surprise? Eyes wide with shock? Drool dribbling down his chin as an image of a naked Duo's male body pressed against his popped in his mind? A blank stare was a much better option. "So you have a club dedicated to gay porn?" He asked.

Relena blushed at that, "Well, if you want to put it in its simplest and bluntest form, why yes, we do, and I'm Vice President of it, Dorothy's the President. She founded it, and right now we have over a thousand memberships on the internet, the numbers growing everyday. We're still in our early stages, you understand."

"What exactly does this club do," Heero asked, feeling a bit alarmed at the prospect of all these unknown females watching porn of him and Duo. Duo, he concluded, would feel more than mildly offended at having his love life plastered all over the internet.

"We mainly write stories about our favorite male characters, whether they're from books, movies, real life, or made up. Whatever hits our fancy. It's called slash fanfiction or yaoi depending on what language you want to use. There is also gossip, pictures, drawings, videos, anything and everything you may want." Relena reached over her desk to place her hand on Heero's arm, having to stand up a little to reach. "Don't worry Heero, between me, Dorothy, the officers, and a few other recruited members, you and Duo will be making out in no time. I promise."

Heero analyzed the situation. Relena most likely knew more about gay sex and gay relationships than he did, which would be helpful in his mission of seducing and securing Duo as a life partner. She seemed confident in her abilities and the abilities of her club members. Relena knew her limitations; she wasn't a fifteen year old girl with an obsessive crush on him anymore. She was a stable young woman in a high paying job, with a loving boyfriend and public, who was able to negotiate the toughest political meetings, and just happened to enjoy viewing the gay life style. If she said she could do this, then she could do this. He would trust her.

Heero nodded his head, "Very well. I accept your help."

Relena gave a relieved sigh and sat back down, "Oh thank God, that is a relief. However," her voice changed, going deeper and more devious, "There's going to be a price that you're going to have to pay." Her smile was far from angelic.

Heero's eyebrows wrinkled in annoyance, "My salary is nothing compared to yours, Relena. I doubt I can offer enough money to satisfy you."

Relena rolled her eyes, "I don't want money. What I want is details. Details of the whole seduction and afterwards. Every dirty little detail you can remember. Leave nothing out. And pictures and video tapes if we can manage it. No, stop glaring at me, I'm not asking for you to get naked, but a hot 'n heavy make-out scene would be nice to watch. And it's not like it wouldn't be beneficial to the mission. We'll need to know these details in order to plan out how the heck you should go about winning the heart of one Duo Maxwell."

That made sense. It was foolish to go into a mission without gathering as much information as possible beforehand. That's how missions failed. Heero didn't let missions fail. "Acceptable," he told her.

"Oh good, now lets get started. Tell me, what is Duo's favorite color?"

Heero mentally scraped up every single piece of information he could remember about the oblivious braided pilot, Relena writing everything down in a brand new notebook she had pulled out of a drawer.

"So, Duo's more of a dog person than a cat, but has a soft spot for fluffy kittens. That's so adorable—" Relena was interrupted by her secretary.

"Ms. Peacecraft, Ms. Catalonia wishes to speak to you about urgent matters."

"Thank you Amy, send her right in, we've been waiting for her," Relena answered. She looked up at Heero, "So now we get down to business. There's no backing out now, my friend."

Heero gave her a hard glare, as if he would back out of any mission once he had accepted it. Duo, he decided, hadn't a chance at resisting.


End file.
